Jokes

Some funny sentences and jokes:

I was caught speeding. The policeman asked me, "Papers?" I said back, "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

That moment when you're trying to sleep and your brain thinks, "You know what we should be thinking about, monsters."

*At a restaurant*

Waiter: Would you like a table?
You: No, not at all. Carpet for five, please.

There is a legend that if you go take a shower and yell "Mom?" three times, a nice lady will appear with your towel and underwear.